Why argue?

We all argue. Some of us argue a lot! What's the most effective way to argue? What can you accomplish through argument? What usually happens?

I think the most effective way to argue is to listen carefully so that when it's your turn to state your point you can start off agreeing with your partner in some way or another then explain why you have a different point of view on the items that you can't agree on. If you listen and find some neutral ground you'll be more inclined to get the other person's attention. If you just yell and try to out talk your opponent then that other person will completely tune you out. Then it doesn't matter what you say because they are not listening to you. It's very important to take the other person's perspective under consideration. If you refuse to listen during an argument you're only hurting yourself in the long run. If you truly care about the other person you should care about their opinion just as much as your own. You should treat them the same way you would want to be treated.

It's important to remember that no one is 100% right 100% of the time. In other words you could be in the wrong so it pays to listen. You may actually learn something about yourself if you take the time to listen to others. We all have a tendency to think we're pretty close to perfect. We may not want to admit it but it's true. We compare others to the same standard in which we see our self. If they aren't doing things the way we would then we automatically want to think their way is wrong. That's not always the case. If you take time to listen you may find a better way than your own. You don't have to argue but you do have to listen. If you disagree it may be better to simply agree to disagree opposed to arguing over something that neither are willing to change. Arguing really doesn't accomplish anything. Talking, however, it the foundation of all successful relationships. You can't keep friends if you don't stay in touch. You can't have a healthy marriage without communication. The simple fact is you have to listen and be willing to state your feelings. Otherwise you could end up isolating yourself from those you care about.

Best wishes,
Marcy